Episode 5: The Advancing Pious

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Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti had appeared. Having received that report, the group hurriedly caught a carriage bound for their destination.

Kyaru
That old guy is running rampant through one of the nearby villages. Nightmare should be there to suppress him now...

Emilia
Miss Saren said that Nightmare should be so very reliable in times like these.

Kyaru
The thing is, the person leading the unit is Christina... She's second to none in terms of swordsmanship, but her personality can be worrying in other ways.

Kokkoro
You're quite knowledgeable, Lady Kyaru. Are you acquainted with the lieutenant captain?

Kyaru
Huh!? No, not at all!? I've never even seen her face, and I don't even know her name!

Pecorine
You don't know her name? Kyaru, what's wrong? Are you delirious from skipping breakfast?

Kyaru
Don't act like I'm the same as you! Are you trying to make fun of me!?

Ram
Dear, dear. We're about to embark on what one might call a very big job, and yet none of them seem anxious at all.

Rem
That's just the personality of the Gourmet Palace. Still, to think that he's attacking the village...

Yuuki
1. "Are you worried?"

Rem
Yes, I am. The truth is, I have some unpleasant memories of such things...

Ram
Our hometown was razed by the Witch Cult. It was only a small village, so we could put up no resistance at all.

Kokkoro
How could such a thing have happened...

Rem
Because of that, I'm worried for the village that's under attack right now. I don't want anyone to have to experience what my sister and I have...

Kyaru
... You don't need to worry.

Kokkoro
Lady Kyaru?

Kyaru
I said this earlier, right? Nightmare is on the move. They're the most capable guild within the Princess Knight organization.

Kyaru
So you don't need to worry. Come on, just relax a little. Relax!

Emilia
... Ha ha. Kyaru, you're such a good girl.

Kyaru
Wha...!?

Pecorine
Yes, she is! Kyaru is a super nice, good girl.

Ram
You'd be even cuter if you were more forward with your feelings.

Kokkoro
But that's simply a part of who Kyaru is. Don't you think so, Master?

Yuuki
1. "That's what's cute about her."

Kyaru
Q-Quit teasing me! Yuuki, don't you jump in, too! Ugh, ugh, why!? I'll beat your asses, all of you!

Rem
... Thank you very much, Lady Kyaru. Thanks to you, my fears have been assuaged.

Kyaru
H-Huh. I guess I'm glad, then. Ugh, wait! Don't stare at me! Cut it out, take this more seriously...

Puck
Yes, yes. I apologize for breaking up this lighthearted mood. But we're nearly at our destination, aren't we?

Emilia
Our destination... Then, it's time.

Pecorine
We'll be facing Petey from the Fish Cult again!

Emilia
Yes! Everyone, be on your guard!

Later.

Petelgeuse
... Ah, aha, ahaha! Yes! Yes! Excellent!

Petelgeuse
You're wonderful! Your earnestness! Your passion! Your arrogance! There is such diligence in your avaricious way of life!

Christina
Ahaha! Keep talking, black-clothed stranger! You're not bad, either! Let's pick up the pace!

Petelgeuse
To think that you could compare to my love! To the power that I received from the witch! I can sense that you are protected by some authority of your own!

Petelgeuse
Then, this is it! Whose love will win between the two of us!? This is where we find out! Slothful shall be the loser, and diligent the winner!

Petelgeuse
Truly, truly, truly, truly! I feel my brain quakiiiiiiing!

Christina
You speak of love? What a frightful person! You sound just like a knight who fights on another's behalf! How wonderful -- allow me to match you! Feel the love I bear in this blade!

Christina
How fun, how terribly fun! It's been so long since I've felt this alive!

Royal Knight 1
Whoa, whoa, is she serious? She's taking those magical attacks with a smile as she swings her sword around.

Royal Knight 2
Why are you saying that like it's anything new? As her subordinates, scenes like these are practically daily occurrences.

Royal Knight 2
Though, it's rare to see her this excited about anything. I get the feeling that they're the same kind of weird.

Royal Knight 2
But we'd better keep our distance if it's going to be like this. Evacuate the villagers, and be on the lookout for any followers that the suspect brought with him!

Royal Knight
... Wait, isn't the lieutenant captain moving strangely?

Royal Knight 2
It's just her usual games. Hey! Don't lose focus! Stay vigilant!

Christina
Hmph, my subordinates are doing well. They've finally learned not to get in my way.

Christina
This will make for a fun fight! If any of them were to butt in, I might end up accidentally cutting them in half.

Christina
(All that said, I'm one step away from disaster. For some reason, my "Absolute Offense and Absolute Defense" aren't working well.)

Christina
(Figures that this would happen at a time like this. ... No, that's not right, is it? That can't be right.)

Petelgeuse
......

Christina
(Those eyes betray his bloodthirst. When that reaches a peak, the "Absolute Offense and Absolute Defense" work properly. That means that there are other attacks that I can't see.)

Christina
Heh heh, ahaha, what's this? Is that it?

Christina
Am I to die the first moment that I'm without my "Absolute Offense and Absolute Defense"?

Christina
Ah, how wonderful you are! I never imagined that there were still men out there capable of killing me! I'm falling in love!

Petelgeuse
Unfortunately, my body and soul are already pledged to the witch. No matter how diligent of a woman you are, it's impossible!

Christina
Ah, already out of reach. Then, instead of a bouquet, allow me to slit your throat to sooth my aching heart!

Petelgeuse
Your way of live is truly remarkable. I can see that you walk but one path, no matter what disturbances occur. However, in the end, my diligence shall prevail!

Christina
What...

Petelgeuse
Look closely. Observe closely. Try to find a way to avoid my attack. Try to find a flaw in my defenses.

Petelgeuse
As you fight, the moment the dust rises up around you, you'll find yourself unable to move.

Christina
...!?

Christina
(I've been watching closely. In truth, I'm shocked. My "Absolute Offense and Absolute Defense" should take into account everything about my surroundings. But extra noise like rain and dust can interfere with those calculations.)

Christina
(Can he really take advantage of those brief moments? Just who is he? This is no ordinary crazed beast!)

Christina
Give me your name, black-clothed stranger! I an Lieutenant Captain Christina of Nightmare!

Petelgeuse
And I am the Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, the master of sloth, Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti!!

Christina
Gah... That attack again!

Christina
(An invisible attack striking the ground, kicking up dust...! This is bad. Exceptionally bad. At this rate, even I...)

Petelgeuse
... Aren't you getting lazy?

Christina
Damn...!

Emilia
That's enough!

Petelgeuse
... What!? Gaaaaah!!

Emilia
I thought I'd try blasting him with my strongest magic to start with...

Kokkoro
I feel like the power of your attack wasn't all that much, but perhaps it's for the best, in terms of minimizing the number of wounded.

Ram
Well done, Lady Emilia. Nobody can match you when it comes to launching merciless surprise attacks.

Emilia
My... It's so very rare for you to praise me, Ram.

Kyaru
Was that really praise? Not sarcasm?

Ram
Hah!

Rem
In any case, the way that the Sin Archbishop was fighting just now was...

Christina
... Dear, dear. To think that someone would interfere in such a spectacular way.

Christina
Should I thank you for saving me? Or should I be upset at you for stepping in? Which would you prefer?

Ram
Not one to thank your saviors, it seems. Or do you not realize the danger that we just rescued you from?

Emilia
Now, now! Ram, don't argue! Are you okay? Unharmed?

Emilia
I tried to make sure that you wouldn't be hit, but I'm sorry if I frightened you.

Kokkoro
Um, Lady Emilia, that is...

Rem
I think you're only going to stoke her anger that way...

Emilia
Huh? Did I say something wrong?

Christina
... Ah, honestly, it drives me mad! That wonderful feeling of a few moments ago has all gone to nothing.

Christina
I see that Yuuki is here with you, too. And also, another familiar face...

Kyaru
......

Christina
Hmph, I could speculate about plenty of things right now, but perhaps I should just remain quiet. If I were to boorishly reveal certain things here, I'm sure a certain someone would hold it against me.

Christina
In any case... Isn't it too soon for us to be having a nice chat?

Emilia
Huh...?

Petelgeuse
Ow, ow, ow.

Petelgeuse
However, however! This pain is simply the proof that I am alive! This flesh is proof that I can still intervene in this world!

Kyaru
Eek! H-He's here!?

Pecorine
Wow, looking well as always, Petey. You're looking just dandy after taking that powerful spell!

Rem
The Sin Archbishop is certainly tenacious... But this time, we won't allow you to escape! We'll stop you!

Ram
Yes, that's right, Rem. Tear him limb from limb.

Petelgeuse
Bold words! But you can't possibly think you're prepared for me!

Petelgeuse
That silver-haired elf! And the half-elf! All my actions have been to test you who blaspheme the witch's existence!

Kokkoro
To test me and Lady Emilia?

Emilia
... I don't know what kind of feelings and thoughts you have towards me.

Emilia
But you're surrounded and outnumbered. You must understand that you're at a disadvantage like this, right? So, surrender! If you do, then we'll...

Petelgeuse
Treat me compassionately, were you going to say? I, the Sin Archbishop, one who loves the witch?

Petelgeuse
Your conceit knows no bounds!!

Emilia
...!?

Petelgeuse
You will never be able to turn me from my faith! Least of all you, half-elf!

Petelgeuse
Do you think one as diligent as I would succumb to such sloth!? What a humilation! What an insult! What a disgrace!

Petelgeuse
What sloth!!

Kyaru
He's totally pissed off...

Puck
I can understand your feelings, you should give up on negotiation. That man is... even by the Witch Cult's standards, insane.

Puck
To turn him from his twisted faith would be a test even for the gods.

Puck
If we could do that, we'd be in a far better place than we are now. That's the power of his faith. We'll never see eye to eye with him.

Emilia
Puck...

Pecorine
Put one way or another, it looks like the time for talking is over.

Kokkoro
I think we'd simply be wasting time beyond this, waiting for two parallel lines to intersect. All we can do is fight to protect ourselves.

Kokkoro
Further, we cannot overlook the disrespect that he has shown Lady Emilia.

Emilia
Kokkoro, Pecorine...

Kyaru
Well, we should press the advantage in numbers while we have it. You only have yourself to blame for making so many enemies.

Christina
As reluctant as I am to settle things in such a manner, since you're the ones who saved me, I'll leave it to you to handle it.

Emilia
Yes, understood. Then, watch us as we defeat the Sin Archbishop!

Petelgeuse
Good, so you're decided. Then, prepare yourselves! For I am the Sin Archbishop of the Witch Cult, the master of sloth!

Petelgeuse
Petelgeuse Romanee-Conti!!

Pecorine
All right, let's go, everyone! Let's take him out with gusto, and head home in time for a celebratory party!

A flashback.

Nostradamus?
"In your future, you will confront a nauseating evil! A strange man with a watermelon-like head will appear before you!"

Nostradamus?
"That man will wield a terrifying power, strong enough to defeat you completely if you draw close too carelessly."

Nostradamus?
"So, then! Allow me to give you the best advice for defeating such a powerful foe! Things like rain, dust, and fog will prove to be lucky situations for you!"

Nostradamus?
"He will have many allies with him, so never let your guard down, hah hah hah!"

Nostradamus?
"The power to attain a happy ending is in your hands! Do your best, Yuuki!"

End of flashback.

Yuuki
1. "Everyone, wait!"

Pecorine
Attack -- wait, what?

Kokkoro
Master, what is it? You have a bad feeling about drawing too close to our enemy?

Kyaru
What are you saying!? We have the advantage -- this isn't the time to hesitate...

Emilia
The prophecy... Are you worried about what Subaru told you?

Rem
Advice about a mysterious power. If that's what Subaru was talking to you about...

Ram
We have the advantage right now. If we attack all at once, we're likely to defeat him. Even then?

Ram
Answer me. Even then, are you staying you still believe in Barusu?

Yuuki
1. "I believe in what I want to believe."
2. "I promised him that I would."

Option 1.

Rem
...! That response is as splendid as a demon!^[1]

Ram
... Honestly, I'm scandalized. Do as you please, then.

Option 2.

Emilia
... Yes. That's right. I understand. Promises are so very important!

Puck
Keeping a promise. How cool this boy is acting! Even I feel a little warmth welling up in this furry chest of mine.

End of branches.

Kokkoro
Then, Master. We will trust in the words of Subaru, this supposed prophet...

Yuuki
1. "The enemy isn't alone!"

Petelgeuse
... Diligent, aren't you?

Petelgeuse
To think that you would be able to see the trick up my sleeve. How... Have I grown slothful?

Petelgeuse
Ah, aha! What nonsense! How! How could I have been so slothful!? This was my chance to show my love for the witch! To think that I would be undone by my own hand...!

Petelgeuse
Unforgiveable, unforgiveable! My love, my love, my love! I must show it!!

Petelgeuse
......

Kyaru
He's completely frozen, fixated on the sky -- what's he doing...?

???
Hee hee hee hee, hee hee hee hee.

Kokkoro
... Was that the sound of laughter just now?

???
Ha ha ha, ha ha ha, ha ha ha ha ha ha.

Pecorine
It's getting closer and closer. Ooh... This is really getting hard to bear.

Emilia
...! Look! Behind the Sin Archbishop, Petelgeuse!

Ram
People are coming out of the forest one after another...!?

???
Hahahahaha, hahahahaha, hahahahaha!

Kyaru
W-Wait, what, what!? I'm scared!

Ram
Normal villagers, beastpeople, even knights. The sound of everyone laughing all together is horribly creepy...

Christina
Ha ha, this one is just full of surprises. Listen, everyone -- these are the people. The ones who've been abducted by him.

Kokkoro
The ones who disappeared? No, but, rather than being abducted, I'd say they're...

Rem
Witch Cultists!

Petelgeuse
Yes! I recruited them! It took time, but I assembled these members starting from only myself!

Petelgeuse
This was all due to the guidance of the Gospel! No matter how isolated of a place I find myself in, the witch will never forsake me! And so, I also give all I have to the witch -- all of the effort that I can expend!

Petelgeuse
All for love! All for the reward of love! That is my mission! That is my reason for living!

Man 1
Ah!

Man 2
Ah, aha!

Petelgeuse & Others
Ah, ah, ah, ah, aha! My brain is shakiiiiiing!!

Christina
All forces, to arms. If you don't want to die, then draw your swords. It's kill or be killed. This place is now a battlefield.

Royal Knight 1
Lieutenant Captain... Yes, understood.

Royal Knight 2
We will stake our lives to defend the pride of Nightmare.

Pecorine
Everyone is so fired up... I can't bear it! And that book that Petey is holding is what Emilia and her friends need to get back home!

Emilia
Yes, that should be so. If we take out Petelgeuse, pacify the rest of these people, take that book, and um, after that...

Pecorine
We take care of everything, and have a celebratory feast!

Yuuki
1. "Everyone, let's go!!"

Emilia
Yes, this should be our final battle!

Kokkoro
I will use my full power to protect Master!

Petelgeuse
We shall see how far this authority extends! Now, now, now, now! Advance, my pious disciples!

Petelgeuse
I will shed my laziness and show you my diligent, faithful heart!!