Episode 2: Chelluun Influence
Translation notes
[1] This "kaboom" is ドヤ (doya) in Japanese, which is a slang term for bragging; relatedly, ドヤ顔 (doyagao) means a smug, self-satisfied face. Saying ドヤ out loud is usually taken as a sarcastic or ironic boast.
[2] In Japanese, this pose is known as dogeza.
Scene: A lecture hall inside St. Theresa's School for Girls.
Several days after the raucous information session. The time for preparation has passed, and the day of the special course has finally come.
Akino
... As I said. And that's our advice for you.
Student 1
T-Thank you very much!
Akino
Whew.
Mifuyu
A flower-themed teahouse, huh. I think it's a cute, girly idea, but...
Akino
With how many concept cafés have been popping up around the city lately, we'd need to see an idea that really goes above and beyond the rest.
Yukari
The narrow customer base worries me. Putting together a menu involves all sorts of high costs, too, and if they're planning to take care of living plants, then they'll need extra employees and space, which restrict their options...
Tamaki
Most importantly, taiyaki! There wasn't any taiyaki!
Yukari
Tamaki, hush.
Mifuyu
It might have been a bit much after all to expect inexperienced students to come up with practical business ideas.
Yukari
Maybe so... Especially considering that this school's students haven't had much contact with the outside world up until now...
Akino
That doesn't matter.
Akino
Regardless of experience or environment, talented people with creative ideas could be resting anywhere at all.
Akino
Finding those diamonds in the rough -- and lifting them out of the rough -- is the whole reason why the Mercurius Foundation came to this school today.
Mifuyu
(In times like these, Akino...)
Yukari
(She really has it together, huh...)
Tamaki
In times like these, Akino really has it together, nya...
Akino
What do you mean "times like these," Tamaki!? Are you saying that I don't have it together during normal times!?
Yukari
Tamaki... Neither of us were going to say it out loud...
Chelle
Knock knock!
Mifuyu
Oh, right. We're in the middle of the special course. We've got to use our time efficiently. Uh, next up is... Chelle. Please, come in.
Chelle
Pardon me! I'm a first-year student at St. Theresa's School for Girls, at the age when I just wanna chell! The conscience of the BFFs Club, the world-class beauty, Chelle! Chelluun!
Mifuyu
Chel...? What...?
Chelle
Chelluun! It's a popular greeting used by teens all over Landsol nowadays! Miss Mifuyu, why don't we try it together? Chelluun!
Mifuyu
Is that really... a trendy greeting? Does everyone at this school say that? I-In that case, I guess, when in Rome...
Mifuyu
C-Chelluun...!
Yuuki
1. "Good morning (serious face)."
Mifuyu
You mean this isn't trendy!?
Akino
Oh, my. Yuuki, are you together with her?
Chelle
Yes, Yuuki's helping out as my assistant. I got him to help 'cause he was friends with you Mercuries. No ulterior motives at all, see?
Yukari
This girl sure is honest.
Chelle
Oh, right, can I take a moment before the presentation? Since you ladies came all the way here to St. Theresa's to teach this course, I thought I'd prepare some refreshments for you.
Chelle
... Yuuki, reveal the items.
Yuuki.
1. Give out the taiyaki.
Tamaki
Taiyaki!? Not just that, but strained bean, mashed bean, custard, all mixed together! This girl is promising! You get 7 million points -- huge progress towards passing!
Mifuyu
This is a bribe, isn't it.
Yukari
It's a bribe.
Akino
It certainly is a bribe.
Chelle
Ehhh? What's wrooong? Chelle just wants to bring happiness to everyone! Munch on some taiyaki, and you'll chell right up!
Mifuyu
She's sure different from the other people we've seen.
Tamaki
You can't afford to let your guard down around this girl. I'm retracting those 7 million points.
Yukari
How could such a young girl have played everyone like this... I'm not even that much older than these girls, but it seems like times are changing quickly...
Mifuyu
Now isn't the time to be wistful, Yukari. Quickly, let's have her present the project idea she's brought. Time is limited, and we shouldn't waste it.
Chelle
Understood! I'll also put the limited time of my youthful days towards speeding through this with the speediest speed you've ever sped!
Chelle
And the long-awaited product that the speedy Chelle will be showing you is right here!
Chelle
Its name is "Talk-to-you Chelle!"
Akino
Is that... a plushie?
Chelle
Not at all! It's "Talk-to-you Chelle!"
Tamaki
She does seem like the type to name something after herself. Plus, the doll is clearly modeled after her. She sure loves herself a lot.
Chelle
Exactly! Produced by Chelle, who loves Chelle so much, it's this totes adorbs mini-Chelle! It's exploding in popularity all around Landsol at this very moment!
Chelle
However, that isn't all. This "Talk-to-you Chelle" is equipped with a brand-new, innovative function still unavailable in stores!
Mifuyu
I feel like this confidence is excessive... Aren't you setting a pretty high bar for yourself?
Yukari
Let's hear some more about it. Though, I think I can guess what's coming from the name.
Chelle
Somehow, this "Talk-to-you Chelle" is capable of talking to you! Kaboom!
Yukari
(... Of course.)
Chelle
Hold it right there, miss -- you were thinking something like, "Of course, chelluun," weren't you?
Yukari
You had me in the first half, but the second wasn't even close!?
Mifuyu
Umm, talking dolls work this way, right? You push on its belly, and it says some fixed lines that were recorded beforehand using magic...
Chelle
Fool! Did you think that the superstar Chelle, who's always ahead of the times, would copy such a relic of the past that had already been rejected by the people? The very Chelle who is the source of all that is trendy!?
Akino
Ha ha, there's nothing wrong with showing some vigor. I'd been looking for just these kinds of ideas full of surprises. ... Please continue, Chelle. I have high expectations.
Chelle
And I will rise to those expectations. Somehow, this "Talk-to-you Chelle" is capable of talking to you! Kaboom!
Yukari
Is she stuck in a loop!?
Tamaki
Now that I've seen that "kaboom" face a second time, it's burned into my mind for life.[1]
Chelle
Wait, wait, that was wrong, the shocking new development is supposed to come next! This doll is different from the one-way speech that had come before -- somehow, it can hold two-way conversations in real time!
Mifuyu
By conversations, you can't possibly mean... This doll is conscious?
Chelle
Uh, well, according to our R&D head Yuni... "It would be excessive to broadly characterize it as consciousness, but to express things concisely, the doll houses a vast number of conversational buttons which it can use to conform to the current conversational situation," or something?
Chelle
Anyway, this little girl can handle anything! She's a revolutionary figure in the doll community, who can respond to anything you say!
Chelle
First, allow me to give a demonstration. Yuuki, using a nice, clear voice that doesn't at all match your face, say something to this doll.
Yuuki
1. "Pleased to meet you."
2. "Long time no see."
Option 1.
Chelle
Charmed, chelluun!
Option 2.
Talk-to-you Chelle
It's been a while, chelluun!
End of branches.
Akino
I-It really responded!?
Yukari
Yeah, it definitely talked without being touched at all...
Tamaki
Is this real? Heey, can you respond to my voice, nya?
Talk-to-you Chelle
Nyaruun!
Tamaki
T-This one's for real! It can even ad-lib! It can seriously do it!
Chelle
That's right! Well? Isn't it awesome!? It's a super charming and original product, right?
Chelle
Not just that, but according to our R&D head, the conversational buttons that it uses to speak only get more and more clever! And most importantly, it looks super cute!
Akino
How wonderful! I've never seen a product like this, my goodness!
Talk-to-you Chelle
I'm honored to receive your praise, my goodness, chellu!
Mifuyu
My goodness, chellu...?
Mifuyu
......
Mifuyu
Excuse me, but I wonder if I could try it out briefly, as well.
Chelle
Of course, of course, as you please!
Mifuyu
... Good morning, Talk-to-you Chelle.
Talk-to-you Chelle
Good chellning!
Mifuyu
Good afternoon.
Talk-to-you Chelle
Good afterchell!
Mifuyu
... Good night.
Talk-to-you Chelle
I won't be letting you sleep tonight, chellu.
Mifuyu
Nice weather today.
Talk-to-you Chelle
Lechelu chepopapi.
Mifuyu
......
Chelle
Ahh, I forgot to mention this, but because of the newest "charm system" we installed, it has a fixed chance to output a playful joke each time, just so you know.
Mifuyu
... That's not really what I'm worried about. It seems like this doll has some kind of problem with its language system.
Chelle
Not at all, it's a feature. Chellese is a globally widespread language with a long and storied history.
Mifuyu
It's not widespread at all, so what kind of history could it have!? Why's this thing speaking in tongues!? I'd return it for being defective!
Yukari
N-Now, now, Mifuyu. This is a brand new bit of functionality, and if we just reconfigure its language settings a little...
Chelle
Ah, that's impossible.
Yukari
Why!?
Chelle
Because Chellese is a part of her personality, you see? Wouldn't it be cruel to rob her of her individuality? She wouldn't be as distinctive of an invention without it!
Chelle
Please! Accept the diversity of this little girl! Find it in your hearts to allow her to speak Chellese!
Tamaki
S-She's so passionate...! What she's saying is nonsense, but she's really making me question my morals...!
Chelle
Please, please! If these dolls can be sold, then "chelluun" can be the one word that unites the world...! Yuuki, you too, bow your head!
Yuuki
1. "Please."
2. "Chellu chellu chellurun."
Option 1.
Chelle
Yuuki, that's not sincere enough! Bow your head deeper! Bend your knees! Put your hands on the ground! Look, Mercuries! Yuuki is on the ground, prostrating himself to you![2]
Option 2.
Chelle
Wha... Yuuki, do you really mean that...? T-Thank you so much, going that far for the sake of Chellese... Look, Mercuries! Yuuki's willing to swallow his shame for this!
End of branches.
Tamaki
Are we down to making emotional appeals as a last resort!?
Yukari
U-Um... Can we consider that the end of your presentation, Chelle...? Is that okay?
Chelle
Understood. Then, while I think it's a shame, I'll chell it off there.
Yukari
Then, Akino. Let's hear your decision on the project plan, "Talk-to-you Chelle!"
Chelle
......!
Akino
It's a no-rupee finish!
Chelle
No waaaay!
Talk-to-you Chelle
Chelluuuuuun!
As "Talk-to-you Chelle" echoed the cry of its producer, their voices permeated the silence throughout all parts of the new schoolhouse.