Media

Episode 1: Invited Celebrities


Translated by Arctic Passerine

Scene: A lecture hall inside St. Theresa's School for Girls.

Several days after the announcement of the special course. The students who were interested in enrolling were called to attend a preliminary information session.

Yuni
(Ahh... it seems like I came here too early.)

Yuni
(Not even half of the students are here yet, not to mention the instructors. But most importantly, the other members of Yunichan's are not here yet.)

Inner Chelle
(That's right. The other members of St. Theresa's School for Girls (BFFs Club) are not here yet.)

Yuni
(Dear, dear... To counter my habitual late rising and tardiness due to my known hyper-hypotension, I even took an excessive dose of Miss Mitsuki's Hustle Potion so that I could wake up on time.)

Yuni
(But one as wise as me knows that one must not allow any spare moments to go to waste. I will allocate these moments to the recovery of my health, as is my habit.)

Yuni
(Yawn... Or, to express things more concisely, I'm taking a nap... zzz...)

Student 1
The seats over there are free, so let's head that way.

Student 2
No, wait a moment? The diminutive person sitting in that row... I think it must be Dr. Yuni.

Student 1
Dr. Yuni? The one who was awarded a doctorate even as just a student -- the greatest prodigy to ever attend this school? One of the legendary seven wonders of St. Theresa's!?

Student 2
There's no doubt about it! The famous idler who never attends ordinary classes, instead shutting herself in the school library writing scholarly articles! She's here in the flesh!

Yuni
Kuaa... Sppphhh...

Student 1
Look, can you see? The doctor's eyes are closed tightly. Surely, even now, she's lost in pondering advanced scientific concepts that we could never understand.

Yuni
Ngagogogo... Ehe, ehehe, mommy...

Student 2
My, what a peaceful expression. She must certainly be discovering the solution to some difficult problem. I'm sure that she wouldn't want ordinary students like us near her. Let's be considerate and find seats elsewhere.

Yuni
Nn, nnn... Huh...?

Yuni
(... My, what's going on here. As I open these two eyelids, I see a group of unnamed students hastily distancing themselves from me.)

Yuni
(Dear, dear, it seems that my reclusive lifestyle in this school has invited misunderstandings. As much as I enjoy solitude, I had also been looking forward to experiencing more interpersonal interactions here. Or, to express things more concisely, I want to enjoy my youth.)

Yuni
(I wonder how my fellow classmates are able to select seats together so easily. Hmm... On reflection, perhaps the first things I must rectify are my mannerisms and sagely way of speaking, which would better befit a village elder than the young woman I am.)

Yuni
(And perhaps one factor I can take advantage of is this body of mine, which appears to be more youthful than is average for my demographic. According to those lettered scrolls which lately my peers in the capital have been enjoying -- which I believe are called "manga" -- if I adjust my mannerisms to match those of the young girls depicted therein, my affinity for others should increase accordingly.)

Yuni
(Hm, yes, some method acting would be perfectly appropriate. "May I sit beside you?" Now that I know how to inflect my voice, I will put this plan into action immediately. Come, my classmates!)

Yuuki
1. "May I sit beside you?"

Yuni
Fueehh, you'll really sit next to Yuni? I was sooo lonely all by myself, waaah!

Chloe
Huh? Is this a bit? It's gotta be a bit.

Yuni
Ah... It's just you guys.

Chloe
Like, who'd you think it was. Were you, like, trying to hit some classmate you didn't know with that "fueehh." You do you, but I'd call that clinically eccentric.

Chelle
Yuni...

Chloe
Look at that, Chelle's speechless. You managed to make Chelle speechless.

Yuni
Solitude can drive people to insanity. In order to dispel the near-unshakeable impression I have left on my peers as "Dr. Yuni," I thought I would try deploying the "lolicon" trope that has been making the rounds among certain scenes.

Chloe
"Making the rounds" where exactly... What kind of scenes are these... Also, you know that those kinds of characters have other meanings that are hard to escape.

Chelle
Yeah, you're best just the way you are now, Yuni! It's so rare for anyone to be like you naturally, so don't spoil it with that kind of cheap, off-the-shelf moe!

Yuni
I earnestly apologize. Bow.

Yuni
... Wait, huh? Why did you get angry at me?

Chelle
Ah, look, the teachers are here! The session's starting! Let's sit down quick!

Teacher
Good day. I see everyone is assembled here.

Teacher
Now, then. I'd like to be the first to introduce the instructors who will be leading our special course.

Chloe
Ah, so the instructor isn't going to be our usual teacher, but someone they got from outside.

Chelle
I wonder what kind of people they'll be! I'm getting chells!

Teacher
Our instructors are known for founding and running their own company, whose operations run the gamut from project management to monster extermination. Let's give a warm welcome to one of the most prosperous guilds in the country...

Teacher
The Mercurius Foundation!

Begin animated cutscene.

Number One Cat Maiden On Scene
Tamaki
Annual gross income 500 million rupees (estimated)
Taiyaki shop manager

Student
That person is from the Mercurius Foundation?

Chelle
Oh, I know her! She's the taiyaki-selling girl! Her shop is great -- the snacks are super good! I'll take you there next time! All you upperclassmen!

Human Calculator
Yukari
Annual income not public
Mercurius Foundation CFO

Student
She's the financial officer of this incredibly imposing guild!?

Yuni
Hmm, beneath that meek exterior rests an extraordinary talent... Much like myself! Or to express things more concisely, she gets it done!

All-Around Competent Mercenary
Mifuyu
Annual income not public
Part-timer
Dragon Slayer

Student
Wow, they even have a dragon slayer!

Chloe
No, it says "part timer"... Wait, what kind of position is that... Better than part timer? Dragon slayer? She kills dragons? ... Actually, that's pretty good.

Student
That's the legendary Lady Akino! She flies airships and crashes them like they're nothing!

Prodigy Heiress
Akino
Net worth 7 trillion rupees (estimated)
Lady of Wisteria

Chelle
An airship!? Like, a machine that can fly through the sky!?

Yuni
What!? I'd heard that certain segments of high society were already using such machines in practice, but...

Chloe
Seriously? She just uses and throws away those kinds of gorgeous vehicles like they're made of paper?

All Three
... Gulp.

St. Theresa's School for Girls (BFFs Club)
Average expenses 5000 rupees/month
On work-study (receiving scholarships)

Transfer student to St. Theresa's School for Girls
Average monthly expenses
Totally dependent on Kokkoro
Prodigy (by Lucent Academy standards)

Akino
Good day, everyone! I am Akino Wisteria, guild master of the Mercurius Foundation!

Chelle
She's a Wisteria!? They're the noblest of nobles -- people gossip about them all the time at school! They've got enough money to build a new ivory tower every year!

Chloe
Sounds awesome!

Yuni
I mustn't forget these facts! Memo, memo!

Akino
Today, I'd like you all to present your best business ideas to us, with gusto! Let's liven up Landsol, together! I look forward to working with you!

End of animated cutscene.

Akino
We of the Mercurius Foundation are honored to have been invited to lead this special course at the esteemed St. Theresa's School for Girls.

Teacher
My, my, how splendid! Let's all give a grand round of applause to our fantastic instructors!

Teacher
Furthermore, remember that the guild master, Akino, is of the same age group as all of you. I encourage all of you to follow her successful example.

Chelle
Uh, how do I put this... I'm friends with a decent number of celebs, but I've never heard of anyone who could outspend the national budget just like that...

Chloe
It's an order of magnitude difference. I can't even say I'm jealous or envious. I don't feel anything. Like, whatver, be rich. Be stupid rich.

Yuni
But, the same age group... That means... Akino must have been managing her business even while she was enrolled in whichever school she attended.

Chloe
No, that volume of work would be... Over a hundred percent, easily. What kind of school is that.

Chelle
What kind of school, for real. Like, if you think about Lucent A, with how lively their students are, they don't have more than 5 or 6 per class, right?

Chloe
Chelle. I get you're trying not to intimidate people, but I don't know if "lively" is enough to describe those crazies over there.

Yuni
However, it does make sense. Looking at these instructors, in addition to their brilliant wisdom, I can detect a hint of "Lucentism" about them.

Chloe
Oh, wait, that's right, Yuuki. You were at Lucent A. You know the "lively" students over there.

Yuuki
1. "I know them."

Akino
Oh, my. I think I hear a familiar voice. Yuuki, could that really be you sitting there?

Tamaki
Ahh, it's Yuuki! What are you doing here!?

Mifuyu
I know you have a habit of turning up everywhere, but to think you'd even show up at a girls' academy...

Yukari
Well, I guess the school won't be off-limits to boys soon enough. But why are you here?

Yuuki
1. "I'm a special transfer student."
2. "I'm in St. Theresa's School for Girls (BFFs Club)."
3. "I'm in Yunichan's."

Option 1.

Yukari
Oh, I see. I did hear that this school was looking into becoming co-educational. Well, since it's you, I'm sure you'd be fine even in a girls' school.

Chelle
Um... Why are they so sure that you're harmless even though you're a boy? Yukari has this mysterious, trusting smile that seems to miss the subtle nuances of the situation...

Option 2.

Mifuyu
The BFFs Club? Some kind of new group? Well, if you're there, then I guess there's nothing to worry about.

Chloe
Eh... Hold up, wait, Yuuki. Why. Why does the dragon slayer have so much faith in you.

Chloe
Huh? Master? What do you mean... Huh, no way, you're like her disciple? Ehh, the heir to the dragon slayer... Huh, nice.

Option 3.

Tamaki
I don't get it, nya.

Yuni
In that case, allow me to explain it thoroughly, nya.

Chloe
Hey, hey, sit down. Here, I'll give you some candy.

End of branches.

Chloe
I mean, it's fine, but... You're really friends with all these ladies? That's seriously crazy. And kinda creepy.

Chelle
For real, Yuuki's ability to make friends with girls is infinite. Don't you think so? No? Yes?

Yuni
He is that kind of man, a fact that you must stop complaining about and instead accommodate yourselves to. I, myself, am quite habituated to it. If I were to discover that princesses, knights, ghosts, or even legendary vampires were among his acquaintances, I would not bat an eye.

Yuuki
1. "They are."

Yuni
Whoaaaa!!! T-T-They are!? Seriouslyyy? I wanna see! Lemme meet 'em!

Akino
My, this school certainly is rather rowdy. It's a little different from how it was described to us beforehand, isn't it...?

Teacher
Ho ho ho, well, those three... rather, those four are something of an exception... Well, well, let's end the introductions there and move on to the main event.

Mifuyu
Then, let's begin the "Special Course on Learning Business Spirit." As it happens, business spirit is something that would be inefficient to teach in a classroom lecture. Rather, we believe that practical experience would be the most efficient teacher.

Tamaki
... What's this "we," when it was just you, Mifuyu.

Chloe
I like the sound of it. As expected of a dragon slayer.

Mifuyu
So, following one of Akino's suggestions... We'd like to have you students present to us your ideas for founding new businesses.

Yukari
Please have your "business ideas overflowing with student ingenuity" prepared by our next meeting, on the day of the special course.

Chelle
Business ideas... overflowing with student ingenuity...?

Chloe
There it is. They're just as over the top as you are.

Yukari
You should be prepared to explain how your project idea will find popular use within society, as we'll be strictly judging you based on those same criteria.

Tamaki
Our judging will be super strict! You'd better bring some ideas for super tasty taiyaki!

Yukari
Tamaki, hush.

Chelle
Ummm, I don't really get all that lofty talk, but... The vibe I got was, I should just think of some new taiyaki-like products, right?

Yuni
Yes, the taiyaki part was nearly lost in all the noise, but that seems to be the general idea.

Chelle
In that case, I'm full of ideas for new shops. I'm imagining a cute drink... A new drink, like milk tea, but with chewy, mochi-like pearls inside it!

Chelle
Wouldn't that be awesome? Super fresh, right!? It's creative, unique, and original! I'll name it, Tapichelle Milk Tea!

Chloe
Sounds like it'd feel weird to drink. And I don't wanna swallow something that's named "chelle." Also, what's "tapi" mean. Where'd that come from.

Chelle
It was an inspiration. My inner Chelle whispered the syllables "tapi" to me. That means it's my completely original idea, and if anyone copies me, I'll sue them.

Yuni
Hmm... I fully understand. I have been closely observing the lecturers, and their reactions also seemed remarkably favorable. It seems that in order to pass this course, audacity like Chelle's will be required.

Yuni
We must produce original business ideas, they said. Meaning, we must produce a project idea, explain it, and gain their approval. Or to express it as they would, we must give a presentation.

Chloe
Meaning? We've gotta act like entrepreneurs? Pitch new products? Pretend that the girls from Merc F are our investors? Since they're the judges.

Chelle
Ohh, I get it. It really is like a presentation. Like, a fake prezie.

Akino
Ah ha ha! A fake prezie, don't make me laugh!

Chloe
This lady's got a pretty strong laugh. What's she teasing us about, all of a sudden.

Yuuki
1. "Is there more to the explanation?"

Akino
Indeed, Sir Yuuki. I am not the type to allow opportunities to escape me. Rather, I am the type to create opportunities for myself.

Akino
Listen up, students! Next time's special course will not be mere play-acting!

BFFs Club
!?

Akino
If the business ideas you pitch are splendid enough to see practical use in society, then...

Akino
The Mercurius Foundation will provide support to turn your idea into reality!

Chelle
Um, so that means...

Akino
As I said. Loans, expenses, procedures -- we'll support you with everything you need to found your business.

Yuni
Complete financial support!

Chelle
Everything we need!

Chloe
Crap. They're only thinking about the money now.

Mifuyu
Akino does have some outrageous habits, but her business instincts are unmatched.

Tamaki
My taiyaki shop is also thanks to her.

Akino
You'll have the full assistance of House Wisteria, the finest merchants on the continent. This is a great opportunity! So then, how does that sound? My adorable students!

Chloe
Um... Sorry, give me a moment.

Chloe
Okay, BFFs Club, all hands on deck.

Chelle
Chelluun!

Yuni
Yuniin!

Yuuki
1. "Yuukiin!"

Chloe
Quit it with the catch phrases.

Chloe
So? What do you guys think of what Merc F's saying. Seems like we could make a ton of money with a good idea, if they're serious, anyway. You think they're really that generous?

Yuuki
1. "Akino is that kind of person."

Chelle
Ahh, my chelly bone is tingling at the thought of such a pretty girl being my investor...

Yuni
All of this depends on the outcome of the presentation. The judging is likely to be far stricter than it would be for a mock presentation.

Yuni
However, were we to succeed in gaining the support of the Mercurius Foundation, the doors would be open to our becoming brilliant celebrities. Or, to express things more concisely, these scholarships wouldn't be worth squat anymore.

Chelle
Eh, really? Then, doesn't that change everything? Our priorities, our motivation... Our determination?

Chloe
They're all suddenly going up.

Yuni
Indeed. That decides it, my underclassmen. We must succeed in this course at all costs...

BFFs Club
In the name of the BFFs Club!

Akino
Ha ha, it seems like this special course is going to be pretty interesting.

Akino
I'll be expecting your business ideas to match the fire in your bellies, students of St. Theresa's.

BFFs Club
Yeah!

Brought about by the scent of a massive payoff, a fire was lit beneath the members of St. Theresa's School for Girls (BFFs Club).